In case anyone was unaware, The Boy and I are indisputably experts on everything and our opinions are law. There are a lot of things everyone else is wrong about, including what does and does not constitute a kickass band name. We have our disagreements on this subject, but we do not disagree that we are obviously the ultimate authorities on this and today we're going to share our arbitrary judgments these absolute truths with you. (Note that these are independent of any judgments on the given band/artist's actual musical value, because a good name does not a good band make, and some great bands have managed to overcome stunningly awful names.)
Truly Excellent Band Names:
- Fitz and the Tantrums (This is the best name. End of story.)
- Iron Maiden
- The Black Keys
- Daft Punk
- Panic(!) at the Disco (Divided opinions re: use of exclamation point.)
- Queen
- OK Go
- The Dandy Warhols
- Fleet Foxes
- Bombay Bicycle Club
- Franz Ferdinand
- Interpol
- The Lumineers
- Florence + The Machine
- The Decemberists
- Summer Fiction
- Explosions in the Sky
- McFly (Reluctantly.)
- AC/DC
- Lupe Fiasco
- Lemon Demon (Okay, this one's a little silly, but it's fun to look at and to say.)
- Radiohead
- We Are Scientists
- Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Box Car Racer
- Capital Cities
Band Names That Suck, Let Us Never Speak Of Them Again:
- My Chemical Romance
- fun. (Sorry, Nate Ruess, but you can do better than that. Also, too hard to Google.)
- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
- The Kooks/The Kinks (Too short. Too similar. Too many Ks.)
- Goo Goo Dolls
- The Killers
- Maroon 5
- Hoobastank (Why? Why??)
- HAIM
- Band of Horses
- Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
- The Shins (The Boy is unimpressed. He says, "It's just a part of the body.")
- Jack's Mannequin (This feels like a betrayal, but it must be said.)
- The Young Veins
- The Academy Is...
- The Foo Fighters
- Lynyrd Skynyrd (Seriously, what the hell.)
- Hot Chip
- U2
- Starfucker (Blanket disapproval of any band with obscenities in their name.)
- Imagine Dragons
- The Fratellis (The Ramones did it first. Negative points for lack of originality.)
- Horse Feathers
- Dog is Dead
- Five for Fighting
- Smashmouth
- Jimmy Eat World
- Busted
- Sum 41
- Bowling for Soup
- Fountains of Wayne (Breaks my New Jersey heart to say so, though.)
- The Black Eyed Peas
- Insane Clown Posse
- Korn
- The Lovin' Spoonful
- The Scene Aesthetic
- Blind Melon
- Nine Inch Nails
- Squirrel Nut Zippers
Controversial (R denotes my support for it, H denotes The Boy's; feel free to take sides):
- Hadouken! (H)
- Bright Eyes (R: Come on, this is great. I wish my imaginary musical project were called Bright Eyes.)
- Sea Wolf (R)
- Dashboard Confessional (R)
- Eagles of Death Metal (H)
- The Darkness (H)
- Boots Electric (H)
- Iron & Wine (R)
- Arcade Fire (R)
- Tesla Boy (H)
- Paramore (We both think this could've been an excellent name, if not for the infuriating intentional misspelling of the word "paramour.")
- Vampire Weekend (I like it, but H dislikes names that consist of two arbitrary words making up a meaningless phrase; see also Cobra Starship, Arctic Monkeys, etc.)
- Muse (H)
- DeVotchKa (H)
- The Tallest Man on Earth (R: Great name for a solo act.)
- The Flaming Lips (H)
- The Rolling Stones (R: They gather no moss!)
- Hellogoodbye (R)
- Vitamin String Quartet (H)
- The Sugar Hill Gang (H)
- Run DMC (H)
- Steppenwolf (H)
- LCD Soundsystem (R; H insists that "liquid crystal display sound system" is nonsense.)
- The Pixies (R)
- Queens of the Stone Age (H says, "Mainly for the acronym. QOTSA!")
- Snoopzilla > Snoop Lion > Snoop Dogg (I asked for clarification that Snoopzilla was the best of the three; H responded, "Fuckin' yeah!")
- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs (H)
- Hoodie Allen (R: He probably didn't know that the reference would become tainted.)
- The Midwest Indies (R)
Agree? Disagree? Are we missing any particularly great/egregiously bad ones? Let's argue about it in the comments.