Olives?

I have a lot of faith in my friends. I think a lot of them are funnier, smarter, nicer, and better-looking than I am, and occasionally I try to take advantage of their worldliness by foisting my naïveté upon them via Twitter, hoping they'll set me straight.

What do olives taste like, I asked innocently, attempting to crowdsource my life experiences. What do olives taste like, I asked, hoping for a consensus. Instead, I got the following:

According to K, olives taste like "rancid slime."
According to H, kalamata olives are "salty, earthy, sharp-tasting, a bit acrid, but all in pleasant ways!"
According to M, pickled olives "taste like salty death."

That really clears things up.

YOU GUYS, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH OLIVES? I just want to know.

P.S. I once made the mistake of asking Twitter if cookie butter is worth trying. An account claiming to be cookie butter itself tweeted back at me that it would sooo risky to pay the $3.99 to find out. I did not take kindly to sass from a dessert spread.